Pick it up, pick it up!- A letter from May.

Date: Junior Year 1996-1997


Bree:


What up homefry? Just kickin' it like Karate. I'm watching Disney, actually. So, How many rudies does it take to change a light bulb?...Two. One to drop it, the other to pick it up, pick it up! Oh yeah, baby.




I really don't want to go to school tomorrow. I hate school! Why can't it just be summer? I can't stop thinking about Travis M. (Now, as adults, May is engaged to one of Travis M.'s best friends, Travis C.)!! He's so cute. I think we should have a double wedding...You know smoke two joints at a wedding. Ha ha. No, I mean Me and Travis M. (yay!), You and Steve (I have no clue who Steve was), and Magdelena and Jesse! Then during the reception, we could all beat up a Johnny! (There were three Johnnys in our lives at this point.) Fun, huh?

I hate Growing Pains. Stupid Seavers! So, do you like? Like my stationary, that is...? I thought so. I ws going to write to Alyson, but then I thought, nah fuck it. I'd rather right to Bree. Rawk on!!

Love boys,

May

You are the Queen of my world- Letters from TAFF

Date: Sophomore Year 1995-1996

SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW, I WILL FIND COOLNESS...and hopefully Dean?

Breeeee-


HELLO-HELLO-HELLO

Here's my plan: I want to go to the rave, so I can kick Dean's ass, then (if he's on X) take advantage of him, then KICK HIS ASS AGAIN....get what I want, then kick his ass. AHHH REVENGE.

Since there's gonna be free piercing (at the rave), I'm taking my old nose ring, so I can get my nose re-pierced. We have a lot of shit talking to do about "The Freak Krew." I have a great idea. I'll tell you later! Everything makes me sick! I can' t wait to get the fuck out of here!

FUCK WANNA-BE RUDIES!!!

Sorry. I had to get that out. My best friend Angie will be here June 14-23!! So Im happy. My shoulder! Ouch!

Stay rebel-

TAFF

featured lyrics: "Rebel Girl, rebel girl, rebel girl you are the queen of the world!"
-Bikini Kill

Date: Sophomore Year 1995-1996

SOUND THE ALERT! NOBODY BUT BURT!
(Denver car dealership commercial tag line)

Bree,

I HEART GEEKS! I HATE 311!!!!!!!

Hi, I love babies, bunnies, and RANCID!! Well, I actually did see them on TV last night (in Ruby Soho) & yr right, Lars does have a little bit of a chub. Oh well. Who doesn't? Nobody's perfect. I think I might re-dye my hair tonight. My hands are all gross from ceramics. YUCK-O!!!

Speaking of, the Peter-Eater Krew have to put people down and talk shit, just to make themselves look better. That there proves they're phoneys! (what did that make us?)

I was doing my Spin Reader's Poll last night, and I voted Sourpuss most underrated band (w/ L7 & Rancid), our demo for best album of the year and best new band. I put Wesley Willis for best artist and No Doubt for worst single, worst video, worst album, biggest loser (along with Tupac) ha ha ha. And for sex god, I put Lars Frederikson, of course.

"ARE THERE ANY GIRLS IN THE AUDIENCE??" Ugh. Make me barf. (reference to something Gwen Stefani said often on stage before playing "Just a Girl.") I HATE NO DOUBT!

OH NO! We missed annoucements!! But your cousin didn't! She's doing her homework ON HER CLIPBOARD. And I'm writing you. Bad, bad, bad grrrl. Yeah, I'm making this picture collage for May w/ pics of STUDS (like Van Dam & Marky Mark on it) with the word MEAT in the middle. I think she needs to decorate her drums! New time we jam we should do it around New Years Eve or something!

Well, gotta go!

Destination Ursa Major.

Date: October 2, 1996

Blah, blah, blah. Today has been a really BLAH day. I still feel sick. After school, I have to go to work (I was a gymnastics instructor) after school, babysit, and then do my homework. UGH.

My friend Taff just kind of picked up and left on Monday. She said she was going to the Grand Canyon and she would be back next week. She said she's going to get the guy that's driving her to the Grand Canyon to try to take her all the way to Cali and never come back. I kind of believe it...(funny, because she probably didn't even leave the state. Total compulsive liar.)

-(signed with star)

featured lyrics:

"What's up with what's goin' down?
In every city, and every town.
Crampin' styles is the plan.
They got us in the palm of every hand.
When we pretend that we're dead."
-L7

October 7, 1996

I feel like going to parties on the weekend is a part of teenage life. Who doesn't go to parties? I don't go to many, perhaps because I don't know "where it's at."(Read: I am a SQUARE.) My boyfriend (Jonas, the old guy) has lots of parties, but they don't start until my curfew, and I would have no where to go after. Therefore, I'll probably never go to any.

Anywho, I went to Jonas' house this weekend, and he got a kitten! (Which, if I remember correctly, I watched him kick down the stairs once.) He named it Desire (how gay). Ha ha. He was so proud of himself. I think I'm really strting to like him.

-(signed with a star)

featured lyrics:

"Stern South West Mississippi,
I'm going to reach my destination alone."
-Self

"I'm so sensitive to life.
I may never get it right."
-Superdrag

Hello? Hello. Turn your radio on.

Date: September 23, 1996

Homecoming is coming up, and frankly it doesn't mean much to me. I've never gone to a high school dance, because I've never been asked or liked someone enough to ask anyone. Instead, my friends and I are having an "anti-homecoming party." The problem is, we have no where to have the party!!!

This weekend we went to that party of Daniel's and it wasn't particularly exciting. On Friday we went to the Paramount Cafe to see my boyfriend (Jonas.) I was really happy to see him because I hadn't seen him in 2 weeks! i think he was happy to see me too...?

- Breeeeeee

featured lyrics:

"I don't know, why you're mean to me. When I call, on the telephone.
And I don't know, what you mean to me.
But I wanna turn you on, turn you up, figure you out,
I wanna, take you on."
-REM

Date: September 24, 1996

I woke up this morning and it was snowing and I had AN OUTFIT CRISIS! I have absolutely NO WINTER APPAREL. But, I woke up super early for some reason though, so I had plenty of time to re-plan my outfit. (All of my outfits in high school were pre-planned the night before...I had an insane clothing collection, a mix of vintage and contemporary clothes.) I fell asleep at 9:30 last night. I don't know why I'm so tired. I talked to my boyfriend last night and that made me kind of happy, but he was sort of mean to me. He never has anything to talk about. (Probably because he's a 20-year-old drug dealer, and you are a Sophomore in high school, Bree.)

-(signed with a star)

featured lyrics:
"Woke up this morning and the streets were full of cars. All bright and shiny like they just arrive from mars."
- Shakespeare's Sister (Man, how uncool is that.)

I'm in your front yard, under suspicion-- A letter from Taff.

Date: Sophomore Year 1995-1996

Breepuss--

Yo! It's about that time!...

Today in the rumer mill is that Tiana isn't here today because she went to Leo's (random kid from the smoker's corner) cuz she's making him breakfast. Aww. How sweet. Anyway, I can't wait to hear that good 'ol rock n' roll of the 80s! Madness rule! I have to make a mix tape and put "It's Raining Men" especially for Christopher's (smoker's corner regular and closet case friend of ours) car.

So, was hanging out at Applebee's fun?(I can only imagine.) I felt really shitty Saturday. We should go to to the ARC (thrift store) I really, really want those shoes Xtremely very band, (the silver ones!!), but if I buy them, I will have no money. And I have to save money for that big summer corporate whore--LOLLAPALOOZA-- Life is hard, man. I won't get on the topic of Dean the Love Machine. How much are tickets to LOLLA anyway? $35-$40?I need to know. GOD I still have like 20 minutes of study hall.

Well, I'm losing my mind. I had this crazy dream that I was watching MTV and Rancid were doing some show. I smoked a pack of Harley Ciggies in like 20 minutes! Then Dean called and started singling "ONE STEP BEYOND!" Pretty odd, huh? I tihnk I should make a sign to hold up at Lolla that I can hold up during Rancid's set that says:

RANCID!! GIMME YER SALVATION!!

and on the back I'll write,

I HEART LARS AND LINT!!

I think that's funny. I can make it all glittery and stuff w/ pink pretty colors. I'm losing my sense. I should go-go.

Luv,

TaffPuss (drawing of a kitty face)

Is she really going out with him? A letter exchange between Veronica and I.

Date: Sophomore Year 1995-1996


Veronicaaaaaaaaa-

Okay. I went to have a cigarette before first period, and it was Tiana and Alex and I and she was like, "So are you guys going out?" And I was like, "No" and Tiana was like, "Well, you like her, and she likes you (to Alex)" and she asked us if we wanted to go out and we both said yes. (Who was this girl? Chuck Woolery?)

BUT it like, wasn't real. I don't know. Tiana wanted to go to LAZER RAGE* tonight, but I don't know if I want her to go with us. May is begging me to ask Mark to the Presidents of the USA show, but I don't know what to do.

My dad is calling the school because he doesn't think we should have to do community service if we haven't been convicted yet**. Do you think my outfit looks okay today? I don't know. You look so cute!! So, is Alex really going to ask me out, or should I do it? I don't know!

Write back!!!!

LOVE BREE

Bree---

Alex mentioned something about "Tiana's going out ceremony" and I was so confused. I would like to go tonight, but I don't think I have enough $ for LAZER RAGE. Plus, we don't have any drugs. (A ha. A ha ha ha.) Tell May that if she's nice, we'll ask Mark to Presidents. (What a bitchy thing to say.) I think Mark was just scared of her because she kept beating on him when we hung out. Tell May to ask him tonight when we go to Denny's...

Speaking of, we have to bust ass RIGHT after 8th period, or, we could just ditch and go after 7th. (Denny's routinely called the school when we ditched, and I was suspended once for it.) About our community service, we should just go down at 10:30 and ask about it.

Alex said he was going to ask you out, but if he doesn't at Denny's, ask him. I love you! your outfit looks good! Let's go to Denny's (Man, Denny's was really happening!) ASAP!!!!

xo Veronica (EXCTACY-XTAC- PWC***)

*LAZER RAGE- A laser show at the Planetarium, at what was then called The Natural History Museum. LAZER RAGE played trippy visuals to songs by Smashing Pumpkins, Jane's Addiction, Soundgarden, and other sweet 90s bands. Frequently played other laser shows like "Lollapalazer," "Lazer Floyd" and "Metallicazer." We used to hang out behind the museum and smoke cigarettes, and sometimes actually go to the laser shows.

**Veronica and I were ticketed for LOITERING outside of a deli by our school...on our lunch hour, AFTER we had purchased food from said deli. I was let off because the school Super Intendant stepped in.

**PWC- Posers With Cray-Pas...our fake tagging crew. Created as a way to write over the lame graffiti crew at our school, who's crew name I can't remember anymore. Veronica wrote XTAC, and I wrote HARLOT. So lame.

LIFE IS SO UNFARE- A letter from TAFF

Date: Sophomore year 1995-1996

Bree!

Good News! (Well, 4 me) BAD RELIGION are starting a U.S.- Tour (March 31st in Las Vegas) so, hopefully they will cum 2 Denver!! Bad Religion rule! We are testing now, and we're on the math part-- sinse I suck at math and I don't have a math class at the moment- I DON'T KNOW ANY OF THIS BULLSHIT!! So, I might as well write a note!

Times are sucking-- My Swiss Miss braids are falling out, and I have no mirror! OMIGOD! WHY DOES LIFE HAVE TO BE SO UNFARE!?!?!? I wuz listening to Let's Go! (Rancid) last night and I forgot all the joy, bliss, blah, blah, blah in Nihilism!

Dispite everything that sux--- I was rocking out last nite. Fuck homework. Fuck School. WHEN I GOT THE MUSIC, I GOT A PLACE TO GO! <---- What it is!

-TAFF (Anarchy sign)

featured lyrics:

"Hey! Ho! Let's Go!"
-The Ramones

Stone Temple Pilots? You have to be kidding me.

Date: September 18, 1996

Well, nothing much has happened today. I'm kind of bummed because I don't have a date for Homecoming. I've never wanted to go to a school dance, but I don't know. I kind of want to. I want to ask this guy (who happens to be my best friends cousin. Read: Asher)(and hello, don't I supposedly have a boyfriend at this time?) but he doesn't even go to this school. Hell, he doesn't even live in this city! I've had a crush on him for 2 YEARS. He's intelligent, incredibly funny, he treats me like a person, he's in a GREAT band, and he's absolutely beautiful. Plus, he's more close to my age (he's 17), unlike the guy I'm with at this moment.

Anyway, he would NEVER go with me to homecoming, soooo it's hopeless.

-(signed with a star)

featured Lyrics:

"There are something's I'll live without.
But I want you to know, that I need you right now.
I need you tonight."
-Smashing Pumpkins

Date: September 19, 1996

LA LA LA I'm in a good mood. It's been a good day and I'm kind of excited because after school, Gina and I are going down to the Paramount Cafe. The older guy (Jonas) I'm seeing works down there. But..I don't even know if he's working, but I hope so. I can't talk to him because he doesn't have a phone. Arg! (uh, hello, 16-year-old Bree. He's 20 and doesn't have a phone. He's a total fucking loser, obviously.)

I'm supposed to go to this party on Saturday. the guy who's having it (Daniel)(I have no clue who this guy is) is pretty cool. But, he's like, really nice to me sometimes, and sometimes he's really mean. And he puts me on the spot by saying I'm a babe and all of this stuff (I'm a regular ego-manic, apparently.) He kind of makes me uncomfortable. Sooo, I don't know if I'll go.

-(Signed with a Star)

featured lyrics:

"I know you want what's on my mind.
I know it eats you up inside."
-Stone Temple Pilots
(I quoted STP? I'm so embarassed for myself!)

PUSSY FIEND--A letter from Taff.

Date: Sophomore Year 1995-96


Bree-

Band idea-Pussy Fiend: Songs about pussy, sucking pussy, fucking pussy, being a pussy, and having a pussy (the joy of). (I have no idea what she was talking about.)

Dean knows I exist! Hooray, he doesn't hate me! He wants to talk to me! Yippee-yahoo!! KORN BOY (probably some poor dude we deemed uncool) was staring at us when we were yelling. Hmm...I wonder what was on his mind ("gee golly, what are those grrls doing?") I'm so happy about THE LOVE MACHINE!!!(Dean) Hopefully he will call me. That would totally rule if he wuz obsessed w/me (really? Cool if he was obsessed?), but he isn't, so forget that. I'm acting like a horny housewife over Fabio or something.--Dream sequence--"Oh, Dean! Take me to a far away place!--Brushing his manhood (if he has any) against me-- I love you! Take me now, Dean!!!"

Sorry, romance novel moment.

Dean Dean! The Love Machine! Dean Dean! The Freakin' Machine!! Dean Dean! the Fuck Machine!!!!

Powerful
Underestimated
Sinful
Sassy
Yummy

What does pussy crumbs, camel lips, KY Jelly, Yer Hand, A broken condom, Robo cok, and chewing on foil have in common??

Good question, huh?(uh...what?) Will Dean be my God Of Fuck ????(a Marylin Manson reference, maybe?) I CAN'T WAIT FOR FRIDAY!!!

C-YA-

TAFF





Date: Sophomore Year 1995-96


Bree-

SOUR PUSS RIOT GRRRLS RULE!!!! I LIKE GIRLS!!(at title of one of our band's songs) PUSSY!! (no wonder the entire school thought we were lesbians...by all accounts, it looked and sounded like we were.) PUSSY!!!!

Dean is going to get his wimpy, short, Kurt Cobain look-a-like ass kicked into OBLIVION!!! He better call, dammit!! Can I borrow yer 80's tape and record it sometimes?? Did you notice in that Sonic Youth video- they had those dolls we used in our still life??? Hmm...I haven't talked to Glarung* in a long time. I feel so regected!! HA-HA. WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO-GO!!!!!!! (Wham!)

TAFFFF

*Glarung- Random goth dude we met somewhere, maybe?

Heroin girl.

Date: September 16, 1996

Oh! Some people. I'm quite angry at this moment. Veronica is getting on my nerves. She has the nerve to talk about me to some young children that we babysit mutually. Now, I know that we hate each other, but I don't trash her in front of young children!! Other than that...

This weekend I dyed my friend Merrill's (a friend from my high school newspaper staff) hair (awful pink "highlights" in her gorgeous wavy brown hair) and it LOOKS SO GOOD! I love doing it. It makes me feel good when people ask me to do that kind of stuff for them (gee, I was such a good Samaritan.) Then we went and saw Trainspotting at the Esquire. We had both already seen it, but I wanted to see it again. It is an excellent movie and two of the main characters are EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE (Sick Boy and Renton). Anywho...

I am kind of seeing this guy. His name is Jonas and he's quite older than me (he was 20 and I was 16.) I hadn't talked to him in 2 weeks, and I saw him on Friday at the Paramount and he said he would call me on Sunday. Well, I waited, and he never called. I know I shouldn't wait around, but I haven't been with someone in a long time. I know he's bad for me. He's quite old (really? 20 is quite old?), he's really into drugs, and doesn't seem extremely intelligent. I guess I miss having someone care about me (other than my friends.) I haven't had a boyfriend for ten months, but I don't exist on guys, and I never have. I hate girls that become helpless and depend on guys!

I don't know. I guess I'm just being needy. But I think I really like this guy. I'm afraid I just might want to change him. I got out of doing drugs a long time ago. I still smoke cigarettes, but I stopped doing other stuff.(meaning: I never did real drugs. I was a little dramatic about supposed "drug use," in that it was virtually non-existent. I guess I worried about looking cool to my journal.) I was looking for a guy who was clean (like me)(I act like I had just come off heroin or something...when in reality, I had never even seen hard drugs in my life), intelligent, funny, and good looking (hopefully.) I really really like someone like that, but we are just friends. Sigh.

-(signed with a star) Bree

featured lyrics:

"What if you don't fly?"
-Superdrag

"Oh you've got green eyes, oh you've got blue eyes,
oh you've got gray eyes. And I've never met anyone, quite like you before."
-New Order

"She comes to me, like an angel out of time.
As I play the part, of a Saint on my knees."
- Smashing Pumpkins

Feed the tree- A letter from Veronica.

Date: Freshman year 1994-95

Breezee-

Hey home girl! I'm chillin' in study hall. This sucks. I don't have anyone to talk to. Nate (my straight high school dude bff) isn't here today. I'm going to drag Bill (one of Veronica's many boyfriends) to Denny's today. I bet he just can't wait! Yipee!! I think I'm ready for my Espanol Examen next period. Her tests are usually pretty easy. Except spelling counts on the test we're taking today. Oh well. I just took an Algebra 4 test. I think I did pretty well. Jake Bass (A dude who tried to hang out with the kids on the smoker's corner by buying us cigarettes) is in that class with me so he talks to me all of the time. SHA, like I'm his friend. He needs a seminar too...on how NOT to buy your friends and how not to be a dork! Today Tiana asked me if I was pregnant. I can always count on her to be blunt. Then I came up to Alex in the hall to get my $$ and he was standing with Mark and Keely (ex-bff of mine). Keely didn't walk away, in fact, she asked me what I was selling (weed) and how much. I told her politely, and that's all we said. In your opinion, do we act like we have big egos? I don't think we do. Oh well. Who cares! NOT LIKE I CARE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK. Anyways, I DO NOT want to baby-sit tonight for Teddy**. I told Janet (Veronica's cool 20-something aunt who was my friend too) and she said I shouldn't let her over-power me. Yeah, easy to say. Well, this period's almost over. I love you!

-(signed with a heart) Veronica

p.s.- write back

featured lyrics:
"Now, I've lost the plot, I'm not the hero I could be, I'm not the dog I was. Kind of common cry, kind of common living lie. You know the shape my breath will take before I let it out. Stand like you did when I was beauty-marked in your eyes, now they'll sleep alright."
-Belly

**a promiscuous 20-something girl/lady we mutually babysat for who had 3 boys. She allowed us to drink, under-paid us, and would bring home random dudes from the bar (sometimes chicks too) and allow these strangers to drive us home, since Veronica and I weren't old enough to drive.

Sweet 16, 1996 Style.

Date: September 9, 1996

It's my birthday and I'm ecstatic! Nothing exciting but I feel good. I'm wearing a cute outfit and my hair lookd okay! Blah blah blah. I got a lot of cool stuff for my birthday and I had a good time. Everyone came over on Friday and we ate a lot of food and I opened my presents. Then we decided to go up to Colorado Springs on impulse and it like 8:30 at night! (Part of the reason we wanted to go up there was because my best friend May and I have crushes on two guys that live up there...I have a crush on May's cousin Asher.) We ended up at some college party and there were lots of hippies there and a keg, so we left. Then May, Magdalena, Lynn, Gina, Taff, and Theresa spent the night.

-(signed with a star) Bree

featured lyrics:

"Wrap me up in always. Drag me in with maybes."
-Smashing Pumpkins

I know everything sux, woahhh- A letter from Taff.

Date: Sophomore Year 1995-96

Bree-

Hooray! (Imagine all exclamation points and i's dotted with X's...so punk rock!) I'm back in the ghetto (our high school, George Washington) Blarg! I heard what happened 2 the Kurt Cobain picture!!!* Grrrrr!!!!! Monday after school when I was in the parking lot I saw that dude (hangs out w/ the Peter-Eater Krew**-- tall, skinny, purple and pink hair and wears Filter, Gavin Rossdale, Gravity Kills t-shirts...) I saw him in his car- which has a Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Sublime, and a "Girls Kick Ass" stickers on it, his car is like a 95 Suburbia (Subaru)- MAJOR "Hello, I live in Aurora" station wagon!!!

I don't understand how someone who wears a Gavin Rossdale shirt, dyes his pink & purple, & is all a "Rude Boy" when Sublime and Mighty Might Bosstones aren't even REAL SKA BANDS. I just get a kick out of these kids who think their cutting edge, when in reality they don't know shit! and, Andy? Last year it was Goo Goo dolls...this year it's VOODOO GLOWSKULLS??

Uh huh. YEAH RIGHT!

So what's on 4 tonite??!?

Everyone makes me sick. I can't help it. When I'm bored as hell, I talk shit, and I make fun of people Well, I guess I'll go.

My, my. Veronica is looking way BOLO*** today! Braids in her hair? Uh, hello, Dexter from Offspring? YEAAAAHHHHHH, WOAHHHHHHHHH, i GOT NO SELF ESTEEM!!! (Offspring Lyrics)

XO TAFF

featured lyrics:

"I know Everything sux, yeah. I know everything sux, whoa-
but this will be the last time you year me complain!"
-Reel Big Fish
(...we were so "rude" we listened to Reel Big Fish??)

*This is a a reference to an incident involving a Kurt Cobain picture I had hanging in my locker on which I had written "Sit and Spin, Tupac" in a word bubble coming out of Kurt's mouth. One day some G came up to me, slammed me into my locker, and ripped the picture down.

*** Bolo- Our term for anything wack. Style-less losers, lame ghetto girls, bad clothes, stupid music, etc. Taken from the absurdity of the Bolo Tie.

I cried when I saw the Smashing Pumpkins?

Date: September 4, 1996

I don't really have much to write. Ummm, my birthday is coming up and I'm so excited. I'll be 16, but that doesn't really change much of anything. I'm sort of down though because after seeing my favorite band (The Smashing Pumpkins) play, I felt empty. I cried. It was hard, because I knew it was the last time I would see them as a band (What was I, psychic?). But I knew that it was one of the best nights of my life because I was there with people that meant something to me; the music I loved. I was there with my best friend (My bff, May.) We sang together, and when I cried when it was over, she was there to give me hug. This experience reaffirmed my destiny. I was meant for music. I don't know if I'll write about it or play it. It's just what I want to do.

-(Signed with a drawing of a Star)


September 6, 1996

I don't have much to say. I'm having a party for my birthday and we are having lots of food and presents and all of the festivities. Then, I don't know what I'll do! Excitement! Woo Hoo!

-(Signed with a star)

"What you want is what you get, and that's nothing."
-Smashing Pumpkins